Hey Ranger! The Ultimate Swiss Army Knife

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October 4, 2008

Complete Swiss Army KnifeFor over 80 years, the Neiman Marcus Christmas Catalog has offered unusual (and extravagant) gifts for the man or woman who apparently has everything else. Now, the folks at Hammacher Schlemmer have their own cutting-edge gift idea for the traveler and outdoor enthusiast: “The Only Complete Swiss Army Knife.”

A Swiss Army Knife has been a staple on the outdoor scene for decades, but this version is apparently targeted more at those who prefer to hit the road instead of the trail. Tipping the scales at a robust two and three-quarter pounds, this won’t be the tool of choice for backpackers! For road warriors, however, there’s something on board this model for almost any situation.

What does it take to earn a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records for “The Most Multifunctional Penknife”?  (Apparently the definition of “penknife” is rather broad!) How about “87 precision-engineered tools” that perform a reported 112 functions? You’d expect a good sampling of blades, screwdrivers and pliers on a Swiss Army Knife, and this model doesn’t disappoint in that category. However, in an effort to be sure that no sportsperson is left behind, the “Complete” version also caters to aficionados of the following activities:

  • RV’ing – tire-tread gauge and key ring;
  • Golf -3 golf club tools (club face cleaner, shoe spike wrench and divot repair tool);
  • Cycling – a bicycle chain river setter;
  • Fishing – combination fish scaler, hook disgorger, and line guide tool;
  • Hunting – a 12/20-gauge shotgun choke tube tool;
  • Boating and hiking – signal whistle
  • Armchair Traveler (Old School variety) – cigar-cutting scissors

Once your trip is over and you’re ready to hit the lecture circuit, you can use the knife’s laser pointer during your illustrated talks, (Sorry, a projector for your PowerPoint presentation is not included.)

The price for this marvel of stainless-steel Swiss engineering? $1,400. The catalog entry I saw didn’t mention if batteries are included–or required–for that laser pointer.

Can anyone top this in the “outdoor gadget” category?

Jim Burnett

www.heyranger.com

Life – it’s an adventure…. Find something to smile about today!

Jim’s book Hey Ranger! True Tales of Humor and Misadventure from America’s National Parks is available from Trailer Life Directory.com

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23 comments

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