The Lighter Side of RV’ng – A Close Encounter With An Alien

Roswell, New Mexico 2010

Well, what can I say about Roswell, the UFO capital of the world? Fulfilling another bucket list wish of mine, Maureen and I visited the Roswell UFO Museum, located right in the center of town on its sun-baked Main Street. I felt like Agent Mulder on X-Files; collecting facts and searching for odd-looking people with bald heads and big eyes. I was sure that, if there were any aliens around there, they would definitely want to visit this place, if only to just stand around and have a good laugh at how much the humans had gotten wrong…

I was sure that the museum was going to be a hoot. Although I had seen most of the material portrayed in various media over the years, I still looked forward to seeing it all together in one place. Maureen, on the other hand, decided that she would rather wait outside with Rocky, or poke herself in the eye with a stick, than visit a UFO museum. Well, she’s never been a fan of SciFi anyway. Sometimes I just don’t know about that woman…

Inside the museum, there were displays focused on the reported July, 1947 crash of an alien spaceship in Roswell, including numerous paintings, newspaper clippings, affidavits and photographs about the crash and the government’s alleged attempt to hide the facts and downplay the story. They wanted us all to believe that the wrecked flying saucer was just a weather balloon! Hmm…

I walked from display to display; some purporting to be actual artifacts from the 1947 “incident,” or even much older UFO paraphernalia. There was even a mockup of the infamous “alien autopsy,” replete with an operating room, a doctor examining an alien body lying on a gurney, and a plainclothes FBI man keeping an eye on things. There were also several depictions in drawings and even a statue of what an alien should look like. Basically, as I already knew, little gray men with big heads and bulging eyes…

But, truth be told, I started to realize that there was no real proof here and some of the displays seemed, well, amateurish and maybe even a bit silly. Like what’s with the statue of a horse, I wondered, standing in the middle of the room and papered all over with newspaper clippings? But hey, I reminded myself; just how much evidence would  the government have left lying around anyway? The museum seemed to have done its best in pulling it all together; it was up to the observer to believe or not believe…

While I was pondering that and, just as my imagination was being slowly pushed aside by a growing skepticism; struggling with whether what I was looking at was proof of any alien visitations on planet Earth, I noticed something interesting on the other side of the room.

One of the museum visitors had caught my attention. He was closely studying a display. I had already seen it and knew that it was an ancient bas relief carving from Central America that was supposed to represent an ancient navigator; sitting at the controls in his spaceship, fingering some knobs or something, while peering into what may have been a monitor. Yes, it may have been all of that, or maybe, I thought, it was just an Aztec guy sitting down having dinner while watching a ballgame.

Anyway, as I walked over toward the guy, I noticed that he seemed to be talking into a tiny hand-held device and was glancing around furtively, as if he didn’t want to be discovered. When I got close enough to hear what he was saying, he must have noticed my reflection in the display’s glass case, because he hid whatever he had been speaking into.

Although I didn’t get a close look at what may have been a communications device, I was able to catch a bit of what he had been saying, and I realized that I didn’t understand a word. I stood next to him and pretended to be studying the carving, while actually taking a closer look at him. He wasn’t what I would call stereotypical of his race. Yes, he was small of stature and his head was a bit large, as might his eyes have been; except he kept them hidden beneath a pair of oversized sunglasses. He seemed to have a full head of jet black hair under his NASCAR cap, but it could have been a wig, right? He was wearing an unusual sort of shiny jacket with overly long sleeves; which, I noticed, hid most of his hands. Hmm…

Not wanting to pass up what might be a chance in a lifetime, I cleared my throat and, with a big smile, said, “Uhmm, Hello. How are you today?”

He seemed to ignore me for a moment, but then, appearing to be a bit nervous, he turned, nodded and said. “Err, hello. I am fine.”

I could understand him well enough, although his English was a bit strained; as if it was definitely not his normal language. Not knowing what else to say, I went on with, “Are you enjoying your visit to Errr… uhmm, Roswell?”

“Oh yes, he replied, “I have heard all about it and always wanted to see it for myself.”

“Uhmm, what do you think of it all,” I asked.

“I think that some people have big imaginations,” he replied.

“Uhmm, yes… have you come far… to get here?” I asked, remembering that travel from distant star systems could take forever.

“Oh yes, very far,” he replied.

“Uhmm, was it difficult to come here?”

“Oh, no. All I had to do was register as an alien and request a visa permitting admission.”

I knew it! All those years of watching Star Trek and Doctor Who had finally paid off! He’s an alien! And I seem to be the only one who’s spotted him!

But wait! He’s registered with our government? How’s that? Do they actually know that he’s here? What kind of job was Homeland Security doing anyway?

“Uhmm, so our government knows that you are here?” I asked.

At this he paused and looked up at me somewhat suspiciously. He tilted his head and replied, “Yes, of course they know, why do you ask?”

“Uhmm, no reason, really, I’m just… interested… Uhmm, are there many of… you here?”

“If you mean my family, yes, they are here with me.” He replied.

“Uhmm, that’s nice…” I said, trying not to anger him. After all, there was a possibility that he was hiding some kind of weapon and might zap me at any moment and then make his escape…

But I decided that this was too great an opportunity to let go of, so I went on, “Is there a lot of alien life in our universe?”

He stared at me intently for a few moments, and then said, “How should I know, I’m just a simple bus driver from Uruguay.” And at that, he turned and walked away, pausing once to glance back at me and shake his head.

Wow! A real alien from the planet Youraguy! Wait till I tell Maureen what she missed!

Till next time,

The Traveler